You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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