Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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