Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize