Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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