I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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