This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
