apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
