Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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