More tranny stories later!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
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