He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
please come you make the beer taste better
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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