we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
