a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Randomize
