i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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