fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
