so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize