this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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