sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize