She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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