I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize