I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize