ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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