I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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