But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
we should paint friendship bongs
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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