Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
