That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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