So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
