Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
