but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
