i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
