He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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