Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
