I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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