Define "chronic" masturbator.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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