Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
