I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
