whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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