every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
