When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
