he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
