Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
