I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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