used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He? As in you personified your dick?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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