separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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