How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
