it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
