I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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