i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
