oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
