Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
