he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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