first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
