I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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