so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
