So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
