how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
