i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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