Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
