Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
