ugly people sure do ruin things
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
