Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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