I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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