That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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