oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
