There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
