TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
